Lunch with my alien neighbors.

By Henry Dumas

    Sophia squinted her eyes when she read the note from Steven on the kitchen counter. “I’ll be home in a few hours and I will pick up some Chinese food for lunch.” The note from Steven said.  

     Stevens’s long, strawberry-blonde, shoulder length hair and a full unkempt beard made him look as if he had just walked out of the wilderness after three months without a comb. He was six feet, two inches tall, large, and stout. Not an ounce of fat on him. He liked his part-time job as a bouncer in a local bar and took pride in being the toughest badass.     

   “What is Chinese food? The note says he will pick up Chinese food for lunch,” Sophia said to no one in particular.

     Sophia was a standard metal and polypropylene biped robot, covered with synthetic skin. She wore colorful clothes that included pink tennis shoes with a Nike swoosh on the side, a yellow miniskirt, and a matching blouse. Her bright red lipstick, blue eyeliner, and flesh-colored face and body made her look like a female human; and her programmed intellect made her act like one. Her cute personality and sweet smile hide the fact that she was a stone-cold killer.

      Ariel waited for lunch. She was the oldest of the two alien sisters. They reproduced her in a lab several years before Astra. She was a fearless warrior and a deadly fighter; and she fought on far away worlds to prove it. Her slim waist and large, developed pectoral muscles made her look big breasted. She was intelligent and knew every fighting technique in the universe. You could tell by the look in her eyes that she was not someone you wanted to cross. “I hope we won’t be eating a Chinese person for lunch,” she scoffed.

      “Don’t be stupid. Humans don’t eat each other. At least not that I know about.” Astra replied.

    Astra was the smallest sister, with short red hair, and a Barbie doll-like figure. In her mind, she was better looking than her older sister and a lot smarter. She spent several years learning physics and studying human behavior. She spoke hundreds of languages and excelled at English. She was soft-spoken and shy, but that didn’t stop her from being animated. Her hands would fly around in the air like butterflies when she spoke. Her knowledge of the universe made her the most skilled starship pilot on her planet.

    Christine, the only female human in the room, exclaimed with a huff. “We don’t eat Chinese people.”

    Christine lived across the street from Steven. She always took care of his house when he was away on motorcycle trips. She was an older woman in her late sixties who still had gorgeous looks. Her striking blue eyes looked like gem stones; and her shoulder-length bright-red hair with purple highlights made her popular with the old men at the senior center. Standing five feet four inches tall, she was short in stature. She was not one to start a fight. However, she could end it.

     Christine put two bottles of wine on the table and slowly read the labels out loud, hoping the alien sisters could understand what she was saying. “Annie, green springs wine, mellow days, and easy nights. A couple glasses of wine will get your tongue wagging,” she said with a smirk. 

      They all burst out laughing. The tension between the sisters, Sophia and Christine melted away like a snowball on a sunny day.

    Steven walked into the kitchen with paper sacks filled with Chinese food. It surprised him to see the ladies laughing. When he left the house a few hours ago, you could cut the tension between the women with a knife; and he expected to come home to a house filled with angry women fighting and wrestling on the floor.

     The sisters’ eyes lit up when they saw Christine tear open the paper bags and place dozens of small Chinese to-go boxes with wire handles on the table. When Christine opened the lids, the sisters discovered the Chinese restaurant had filled the boxes with different varieties of food. More food than they had ever seen at one time. The aroma of Chinese food filled the room and made their mouths water. The sisters stared at the boxes of food like they hadn’t eaten for several days, and they probably hadn’t.

   Sophia looked at the contents of the boxes and wondered what all the fuss was about. She picked up a box, opened the lid, and stuck her finger in it like a probe. Using her finger like a sensor, she examined the contents and sent the information to her memory banks.

   “Hum,” she mumbled. “Nothing in this box would be nourishing for me.”

    Christine handed each sister a pair of chopsticks. Before she could explain how to use the eating sticks, Astra plunged the chopstick like a knife into a box of sweet and sour chicken. She plucked out a piece of chicken, slid it into her mouth, and shouted. “This is terrific. It reminds me of home, and eating giant sand beetles covered in a sweet sauce, roasted over an open fire.”

   Christine frowned at Steven. “Get out the spoons,” she scoffed. “These ladies from outer space are hopeless with chopsticks.”

 The sisters tossed the spoons into the air. They bounced on the floor with a tinkling sound like a bell.  They plunged their fingers into the boxes of food and shoveled it into their mouths. Food flew in every direction.

    Steven held out a six-pack of diet Coke cans. “I think you’ll like the taste of these drinks,” he said. He handed out the Cokes to the thirsty sisters and watched them fumble with the pop-top lids.

   “Like this,” he laughed. He pulled on the aluminum pull tab and flipped the ring. Swish… the sound of hissing air filled the room.

   The sisters jumped backwards when they heard the swish of air. Sophia drew her weapon from its hidden spot in her bra and vaporized the can.

     Whoa, it was just a can of diet coke, Steven shouted. Waving his stinging hand in the air like a homecoming queen on a float; and checking his fingers to see if they’re still attached to his hand.

     “Sorry,” Sophia replied with a grin on her face. Just my natural instincts.

      Steven handed Sophia a can. She ran an X-ray analysis of the contents and added the information to her memory banks for future reference. After several attempts, the sisters opened the Coke cans and gulped down the contents.

    The ladies laughed at the stories the two alien sisters told. It embarrassed Steven when they described alien love making. Christine was interested in what they had to say about it and wanted more details. “It’s been a long time for some of us and I could use some pointers,” Christine laughed out loud.

    Sophia shook her head up and down in agreement and said, “for some of us it’s been… never.”

    Steven placed his hands over his ears, trying to muffle the girls’ comments and laughter. “I’ll leave you ladies to your own vices; I’m off to watch Monday night football,” he scoffed.

     Christine frowned. “I’m having lunch with the ladies at the senior center. If I don’t show up, they will come looking for me, so I must leave. Let’s get together again soon. I haven’t had this much fun in years.” She hugged each sister, and it surprised her when Sophia kissed her hard on the lips.

   Astra stood in an open space in the kitchen and, with a flick of her wrist, she beckoned her sisters, Sophia, and Christine, to come to her. The five women gathered in the middle of the kitchen. They put their arms around each other and embraced.

  They all shouted as one. “We are sisters. We are star-travelers.”

    Christine smiled and waved goodbye. She walked out the door, shaking her head from side to side, wondering if she would ever travel to the stars.